I’ve had a number of readers asking me why I chose The Barefaced Chic for the name for my blog. Of course I love the fact that it is a play on words. The barefaced cheek: “an attitude of not caring, a person who behaves in such a way as to not care what others think, being somewhat brazen.” But I ultimately chose my blog name because I hope that, even in some small way, within the features on this blog mature women are encouraged to celebrate themselves, love their quirks and feel happy in their own skin – hence the barefaced chic.
This blog is really about improving your attitude to getting older; to grasp mid years, not hide in a corner. But I believe that any changes in your life — especially ones that are worth making — are ultimately achieved through loving yourself as a person. Which, lets face it, is not the easiest thing to do.
Where do you begin? How do you learn how to love yourself?
It’s all about cultivating good habits. Want to walk into a room with confidence? Then you must cultivate the habit of walking into a room with a positive attitude. Want to feel comfortable in your own skin? Then cultivate the habit of seeking out the parts of your body you love, not endlessly picking over the parts you hate.
These habits are not born overnight. You can’t say to yourself, “Hey self, I am going to become a confident woman by tomorrow morning at 9am.” Well, you could, but if you think that it’s going to happen so quickly, you WILL be disappointed.
Nope, habits must be cultivated through daily practice.
Try this: look at yourself naked in a mirror (yes, it’s really hard for some of us) and ignore the parts of your body that you dislike. Look at yourself from your head to your toes and pick out the feature(s) that you really like. Now concentrate on that feature, really see it. Now find ways to play up this feature.
Maybe you have great shoulders, then wear cold shoulder tops. Maybe you love your neck, then wear eye-catching necklaces. Maybe you have beautiful hands, then have a manicure and choose a varnish that really stands out.
And please don’t say that you hate every part of yourself, there is ALWAYS a part of you that appeals. I once had a friend who did this exercise and the only part of her that she could bring herself to love was her ears, so she wore the hottest darn earrings she could find and changed her haircut to show them off!
When I first tried, after many attempts, I could only focus on my eyes. So I ditched my glasses and stared wearing my contact lenses more frequently. Now there are still parts of my body I’m not happy with, but on the whole when I stand in front of a mirror I like what I see – and that’s not narcissistic, it’s a healthy attitude to have.
It takes time, but keep at it. Keep seeking the beauty that you DO have and keep believing that you ARE a unique and beautiful human being.
The Barefaced Chic is the title of this blog as a simple reminder to keep on loving myself in my own skin, to keep striving to reach my goals, to keep myself on my slow journey to creating a better ‘me’ and to hopefully help others to do the same. That is all. I am not a guru and I don’t have all the answers, but I do have a heap of life mistakes to draw from and if by sharing what I’ve learned I can help you to love yourself then that’s got to be a good thing – right?
If you need some support as you hit midlife and experience all the changes that this rather special time can bring, then why not head over to The Midlife Survival Forum and join in the discussion?