Yesterday wasn’t a great day for me. I had a bad day.
I woke up in a grumpy mood after only getting a few hours sleep. My stomach problems seem to be getting worse, I felt sick all day. Despite having a packed work schedule, I couldn’t get focused. I went for a walk, but it started to rain five minutes in. A friend popped in to see me and insulted me. It was a mild insult, one which I would normally have shrugged off, but it hurt. Mr Chic wasn’t around to give me a cuddle.
I cooked a light lunch, watched the rain beat against the window and napped – which was nice.
I then opened up an email which kind of kicked me in the gut. It was highly critical of me, my blog and the way I write. It accused me of photoshopping all my photographs, using a ghost writer and lying about my age. All absolute rubbish of course, and I would usually place an email such as this firmly into the trash and not give it a second thought. Yet as I read each negative comment, I could feel my heart and my spirit drop lower and lower.
It was a very bad day, and my mood became blacker as I thought about how some people might think badly of me.
You know what? Some days are bad days. Some days there is no silver lining. Some days you have absolutely nothing.
Yesterday I had nothing. So I sat and looked inward and faced the blackness of my hurt. I had nowhere to run from the hurt, no way to push it away, no way to end it.
So I faced it. I felt it. Sat with it.
After I allowed my hurt to just ‘be’ it didn’t hang around for that much longer and I felt better. Not great, but better.
And while I was sitting with my hurt I realised that the ‘Michelle’ that was being slated doesn’t exist. It isn’t me that’s being criticised, it’s one person’s perception of me.
I also realised that there will always be some bad days when I have nothing, it’s part of life, part of living. And that’s OK, because tomorrow’s song is yet to be written.