A Message for Those Of You Who Are Struggling.

Every day I get emails. I get emails trying to sell me things. Emails inviting me to functions. Emails enquiring about working with me. Normal, everyday emails. But sometimes I get emails from women who are struggling.

Women who are struggling due to lack of confidence, lack of self-esteem, lack of friends and lack of family. And I feel for these women, because I know what it’s like to struggle, to feel low and even depressed, to have absolutely no motivation.

So I am writing this post for you, for the women out there who are struggling.

Talking about self-development for mature women who are struggling | Isolation is and illusion | The Barefaced Chic | Over 50 life and style blog

I know that struggle can hurt, it can be difficult, it can feel hopeless and brings on feelings of loneliness and uselessness.

These feelings are very, very real. So how do you pull yourself out of the darkness of struggle when you don’t have the motivation to strike a match, let alone light a candle to guide your way?

How do you make friends who can offer you the support you need when your confidence or self-esteem is low?

I am so, so sorry that you are hurting. But know this: even when you feel completely and utterly alone, your are not! Thinking about you and writing this post to you makes me connected to you. We have shared similar pain, shared the hopelessness, shared the loneliness. That shared darkness also makes us connected.

And I’m not the only one to be connected to you by struggle. Every, single person on this planet of ours will have experienced this kind of pain at one time or another. Which makes us ALL connected.

That feeling of complete isolation from the world that you are feeling right now – it’s an illusion. It can feel soul crushingly real. But it’s not true.

Think about it: your life is supported by millions of people. Every time you turn on a tap you are using water that is brought to you from a water company, a company with thousands of employees who’s job it is to bring you fresh water. Every time you open the fridge you see food that was grown and harvested by thousands of people. Every time you turn on a light you use electricity that is powered by an electric company, with thousands of employees.

Every day your life is touched by thousands, if not millions of people. People who are all being touched in a similar way by thousand more. The entire world is connected, and we become the people we are because of those connections.

And that, in itself, is a miracle. We may feel alone, but it is only an illusion.

So how do we move forward? How do we overcome the struggle? By turning towards the pain of other people. Turn away from your own pain and take a look at the world you live in. Who else is struggling? How can you help them? How can you ease their pain?

This act of turning from our own pain and looking outwards, towards the struggle of others’, cannot help but lift our own lives. We all have something to offer, something to give.

I know, I really do, how difficult it is to make take that first step. To remove the comfort of that black loneliness. To take a chance and look outwards. But the rewards for doing so are boundless.

I cannot take away your pain, and I cannot take away your struggle. But I can maybe open your mind to two things: the connection you have with millions of people, and the joy that turning towards other human beings brings.

I feel connected to you, and my heart if full of hope that you will find a way out of your struggle.


  1. October 19, 2016 / 5:37 pm

    Absolutely positively one hundred percent AGREE! Yes we are all connected but sometimes we forget.
    Thanks for reminding me Michelle xxx

    • October 24, 2016 / 12:13 pm

      When your head is in a dark place it’s so easy to forget how many connections we make every, single day.
      Michelle xxx

  2. October 21, 2016 / 5:44 pm

    It’s so lovely that you are taking it upon yourself to encourage and inspire and help other people going through a struggle. Really inspiring post #brilliantblogposts

    • October 24, 2016 / 12:14 pm

      I love writing posts like this Amie, I’m so pleased that you enjoyed reading it

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