It’s A Dog’s Life – Sunday Supplement

Picture the scene: Mr Chic and I are travelling along the M1, hurtling our way towards Ramsgate. The car is crackling with excitement as we have two weeks off.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I spot a puppy looking out of the back window of the car in front. The poor little thing was lying at an very odd angle, and being squashed by suitcases.

Me: “Honey, that puppy looks really uncomfortable. Can you pass the car so I can see if it’s OK?

Mr Chic: (who is a big softy when it comes to our furry friends): “Will do.”

Me: (craning my neck and squinting through my varifocals as we pass the car) “OH MY GOD! It’s is being completely flattened up against the back widow by suitcases. We have to do something!!”

Mr Chic: “Maybe it’s crawled back there and the driver doesn’t know.”

Me: ” What are we going to do? We can’t just drive along while a puppy suffocates!”

Mr Chic: Can you get the drivers attention?”

Me: I’ll try. NO, he’s indicating to pull off at the next junction!!”

Mr Chic: “Calm down, I’ll pull off and follow him.”

Me: “If we don’t do something soon we’re going to have a dead puppy on our conscience.”

Mr Chic: “God, don’t say that.”

Me: “I think I’ll ring the police. They might be able to pull him over and save Wheezy.”

Mr Chic: “Who the hell is Wheezy?”

Me: “It’s what I’ve christened the puppy – it’s the noise he must be making trying to breath with all those cases on him. Poor thing, he must be gasping for oxygen! I’m dialling 999.”

Mr Chic: “Honey, hang up the phone!”

Me: “But the puppy…….”

Mr Chic: “NOW!”

Me: (Almost in tears): “Well what else can we do?”

Mr Chic: “I suggest we make you an appointment to see the optician.”

Me: “Why?”

Mr Chic: “Because we’ve been trying to rescue a bloody rolled up coat with a fur hood you numpty!”

Me: “Ahhh.”

Yep, it turned out we added twenty minutes to our journey and got freaked out over a bit of faux fur. It certainly is a dogs life!

Cheerio.

10 Comments

  1. May 8, 2016 / 10:50 pm

    Ohhhhhhhhhh Michelle I knew you said your eyesight was bad but still… That poor “puppy”!!!!!! hehe bless you, I would have been EXACTLY the same, in a panic, if I’d thought that it was a puppy in that car. I’ve rescued a bunny (hit by a car probably) from the side of the road and taken them to the vets, I rescued and nurtured a baby crow last year when it was cornered by a cat in my garden… The former didn’t survive, but the latter did, hooray! – I get VERY upset like you about animals coming to harm.

    But still, this bloody made me laugh…!!!!!!!! ;))

    And THAT’S why you should have won best storyteller at the blog awards!

    Catherine x

    • May 11, 2016 / 9:22 am

      I’m not sure Andrew will ever let me live this down. Every time he sees faux fur now he asks me if I want to ‘rescue’ it. Well done on the real rescuing you’ve achieved. I’d be the same, small furry creatures get me every time – that’s why I’m married to Andrew (he’s going to kill me for that one isn’t he).
      I’m glad it made you laugh.
      Michelle xx

  2. Sheila
    May 9, 2016 / 9:15 am

    Thank you for this post I laughed out loud just the thing to cheer me up on Monday morning and great to know I’m not the only one who needs to wear my glasses more!!

    • May 29, 2016 / 4:44 pm

      I’m such a numpty sometimes Suzy. At least my heart was in the right place 🙂
      Michelle xx

  3. May 27, 2016 / 8:39 pm

    This is great and SO YOU. I love Andrew asking if you want to rescue every faux fur you see. Brilliant story, M! xxx

    • May 29, 2016 / 4:49 pm

      Thanks Lisa. It was worth the extra time on the journey for the story I got out of it! 🙂
      Michelle xx

  4. June 12, 2016 / 11:09 am

    That’s so funny! I would have done the same though. I went out to get some mustard for my husband’s Sunday lunch once and came back with an injured goldfinch! A cat ran out of a bush and dropped it in the road. I put it in a birdbox and it had gone the next morning, hopefully flown back to his friends 🙂

    Emma xxx

    • June 12, 2016 / 11:16 am

      I spent an hour last week watching a baby bird that had obviously tried to fly just a little bit too soon. I kept an eye on it as it flapped its way back to the top of a tree. I think the little guy was OK as the distresses chirps from its mum stopped.
      Michelle xx

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