If I were to tell you that I never give a toss what other people think of me, then I would be fooling myself. Despite my change from a woman overwhelmed with fear about what others thought about the way I dressed, spoke, lived and even thought (because of course the world can read my mind?!), to a woman who rarely gives a f*ck – I am still not free from worry.
The Ability To Love Yourself
I still have times when I feel the need to look good in the eyes of others. I sometimes stress out about the way I look, the way I am perceived, whether other people think I am a good or even good enough person. These moments are becoming rarer than hen’s teeth, but they still exist.
I think, whether we admit it or not, moments like this affect us all. It’s one of the reasons social media, blogs and mirrors exist 😉
If this worry is fleeting, then the energy wasted is low. However, constantly worrying about how we are perceived in the eyes of others can be overwhelmingly debilitating.
I know from experience that I worried about having the ‘right’ clothes, about how my body looked, about being too thin, too fat, too short, that my writing would be ridiculed, my photographs or posts wouldn’t get ‘liked’. The mental energy exercised was exhausting!
It isn’t easy to break free from this loop of self doubt. We cannot simply forget about it – it’s not human nature to do so. No matter how many times we tell ourselves that the opinions of other people don’t matter, or that no-one is really thinking about us it won’t stop our brains from worrying.
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So What Can We Do?
By being aware of these anxieties as they first flutter into our mind, we can begin to see them as something that blow into our lives, then blow away again. Like clouds passing over the sun on the brightest of days – they pass.
By acknowledging these anxieties, without too much attachment, then digging beneath them to see our true selves, we become the very breeze that blows the clouds from the face of the sun.
It is human nature to worry about being loved, or being judged. But know that you ARE good enough, you ARE a unique and wonderful human being – which makes you bloody awesome!
Take a moment right now to contemplate your achievements, your good points, your talents, your strengths. Don’t dwell on the bad, seek out the good then stand in the sun and shine!
Learn to know yourself, to accept yourself. Because no matter what other people think of you, YOU have the ability to love yourself – quirks and all.
It is this ability that allowed me to sit in a pub called The Spit And Sawdust, dressed in my finery to have a swift pint before The UK Blog Awards. And yes, it raised a few eyebrows. But it also raised a few smiles, some genuine curiosity, a few interesting conversations and glass of very fine ale.
Cheers to not always giving a f*ck! And remember, be gentle with yourself.