Learning To Have The Ability To Love Yourself

Talking about the ability to love yourself quirks and all | Self development | The Barefaced Chic, a blog for women over 50

If I were to tell you that I never give a toss what other people think of me, then I would be fooling myself. Despite my change from a woman overwhelmed with fear about what others thought about the way I dressed, spoke, lived and even thought (because of course the world can read my mind?!), to a woman who rarely gives a f*ck – I am still not free from worry.

Wearing a black wrap top, black and white zebra print evening skirt, hot pink clutch and talking about the ability to love yourself quirks and all | Self development | The Barefaced Chic, a blog for women over 50

The Ability To Love Yourself

I still have times when I feel the need to look good in the eyes of others. I sometimes stress out about the way I look, the way I am perceived, whether other people think I am a good or even good enough person. These moments are becoming rarer than hen’s teeth, but they still exist.

I think, whether we admit it or not, moments like this affect us all. It’s one of the reasons social media, blogs and mirrors exist 😉

If this worry is fleeting, then the energy wasted is low. However, constantly worrying about how we are perceived in the eyes of others can be overwhelmingly debilitating.

I know from experience that I worried about having the ‘right’ clothes, about how my body looked, about being too thin, too fat, too short, that my writing would be ridiculed, my photographs or posts wouldn’t get ‘liked’. The mental energy exercised was exhausting!

It isn’t easy to break free from this loop of self doubt. We cannot simply forget about it – it’s not human nature to do so. No matter how many times we tell ourselves that the opinions of other people don’t matter, or that no-one is really thinking about us it won’t stop our brains from worrying.

Shop Similar Styles

talking about the ability to love yourself quirks and all | Self development | The Barefaced Chic, a blog for women over 50

Jewellery – Eternal Collection (except for the tortoise ring which is a one off piece) | Skirt (in the sale and only a few sizes remaining) | Wrap Evening Top | Bag | Watch

Wearing a black wrap top, black and white zebra print evening skirt, hot pink clutch and talking about the ability to love yourself quirks and all | Self development | The Barefaced Chic, a blog for women over 50

Wearing a black wrap top, black and white zebra print evening skirt, hot pink clutch and talking about the ability to love yourself quirks and all | Self development | The Barefaced Chic, a blog for women over 50

So What Can We Do?

By being aware of these anxieties as they first flutter into our mind, we can begin to see them as something that blow into our lives, then blow away again. Like clouds passing over the sun on the brightest of days – they pass.

By acknowledging these anxieties, without too much attachment, then digging beneath them to see our true selves, we become the very breeze that blows the clouds from the face of the sun.

It is human nature to worry about being loved, or being judged. But know that you ARE good enough, you ARE a unique and wonderful human being – which makes you bloody awesome!

Take a moment right now to contemplate your achievements, your good points, your talents, your strengths. Don’t dwell on the bad, seek out the good then stand in the sun and shine!

Learn to know yourself, to accept yourself. Because no matter what other people think of you, YOU have the ability to love yourself – quirks and all.

It is this ability that allowed me to sit in a pub called The Spit And Sawdust, dressed in my finery to have a swift pint before The UK Blog Awards. And yes, it raised a few eyebrows. But it also raised a few smiles, some genuine curiosity, a few interesting conversations and glass of very fine ale.

Cheers to not always giving a f*ck! And remember, be gentle with yourself.

16 Comments

  1. May 1, 2017 / 3:26 pm

    Fabulous! I wouldnt dare to dress like that and enjoy a drink! But you did! I saw you on Greetje s blog at the blog awards and thought it was such a pretty one! Really chic and elegant yet trendy!

    • May 2, 2017 / 11:15 am

      Thanks Nancy. I did consider wrapping a bar towel around myself as I can be really clumsy :)

  2. Wendy
    May 1, 2017 / 5:20 pm

    You look A-MA-ZING, Michelle. Great post too.

  3. May 1, 2017 / 9:50 pm

    Good for you to share this honest post. The higher your blog/social media profile, the more we percieve you to be perfect. We can all suffer a wobble from time to time and it’s great to have some tips to keep going in the right direction.

    Lovely post, thank you!
    Anna x
    http://www.annasislandstyle.com

  4. May 1, 2017 / 10:02 pm

    I think you are right we all have moments like this when we doubt ourselves. I think it has alot to do with who we are in the room with and how we compare ourselves to them. Are we comfortable with these people or out of our element. I always feel doubt when I am out of my element or trying to mingle. So hard! But really what is the worst that is going to happen – usually nothing terrible.

    You look lovely!

    • May 2, 2017 / 11:20 am

      Thanks Jane.
      You know, there was a time when I couldn’t enter a room full of people – I was THAT shy and lacked confidence. Now, although I still have the odd wobble, I KNOW that the people in a room are no better and no worse than me – they’re just people. They all have the same complications, the same doubts, the same messy lives which makes me feel far more confident and able to be myself.

      xx

  5. Heide V
    May 2, 2017 / 2:54 pm

    And this is why it feels like we could be great friends if we lived closer…thank you for continuing to share such uplifting content. We ARE ok and we ARE enough, just the way we are :) Cheering you on in Canada!

  6. May 2, 2017 / 3:13 pm

    What a brilliant post, Michelle! I just LOVE LOVE LOVE that you were all dressed up, sitting on the bar (literally) and having a pint!
    Suzy xx
    http://www.suzyturner.com

  7. May 6, 2017 / 3:26 pm

    Well said my friend. Very well said. you look beautiful and everything you have written makes the utmost sense and really resonates xxx

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