Dealing With Toxicity | A Bit Of A Ramble And Catch Up

Looking out to sea wearing a mustard boating jacket and thinking about dealing with toxic people | Self development in mature years | The Barefaced Chic over 50 lifestyle blog

Despite my determination to live as stress-free, awesome a life as possible, sometimes life throws me a curveball that simply knocks me off my feet; and over the last few weeks the balls that have been hurled in my direction have hit me square between the eyes.

In fact, I was so knocked for six that I kind of went a bit quiet on the whole internets, which worried some of you enough to contact me to enquire if I was still walking this mortal coil. Now me going quiet because I’m having a blogging break, or technical issues is not unheard of. Nope, what worried some of you was the fact that during my last vlog Andrew and I took a nasty tumble down a particularly steep set of steps. My announcement at the end of the vlog that, “if all goes quiet on the blog and vlog, you’ll know why”, followed by my prompt disappearance had my inbox filling up with queries about our health. I am so, so sorry to have worried you – though it’s wonderful to know that you care. 😘

Looking out to sea wearing a mustard boating jacket and thinking about dealing with toxic people | Self development in mature years | The Barefaced Chic over 50 lifestyle blog
Looking out to sea wearing a mustard boating jacket and thinking about dealing with toxic people | Self development in mature years | The Barefaced Chic over 50 lifestyle blog
Looking out to sea wearing a mustard boating jacket and thinking about dealing with toxic people | Self development in mature years | The Barefaced Chic over 50 lifestyle blog

The truth of the matter is that I did, indeed, end up in hospital but not because of the fall. For over a year now I have had problems with my stomach. It starts with a general feeling of unwellness followed by excruciating pains and then, well then I vomit continuously for around five to six hours. Not a lot of fun, and I’m still undergoing tests to try and determine the cause.

The day after our fall I had a pretty bad bout and, because it was slightly different than normal and I was a bit worried that I had caused some kind of tummy injury during my fall, I staggered (literally) into casualty.

We’re still no further forward in working out why I seem to become possessed by demons every few months so further tests are on the cards. However my examination did throw up another issue. I had a chest X-ray and as he looked at the results the doctors whistled through his teeth (never a good sign when said whistle is performed by doctors or plumbers), and announced that I HAD to give up smoking. Now this is more than a bit of a worry because I have never smoked in my life, nor worked or socialised in smokey atmospheres. How on earth I ended up with the lungs of a heavy smoker is beyond me – definitely more investigation needed!

We have also had to deal with the stress and worry of a close family member being very poorly. The woods now seem to have been left behind us, but we’re still anxious and have put our work and social lives on hold in order to be on hand.

Now all this is messy, but life can be messy – not one person on this planet has a life that is perfect. Sometimes we just have to keep pushing forward and wade our way through the rubbish that’s thrown at us. It’s unpredictable, it’s unfortunate and it’s stressful; but it’s life and I am determined to live mine to the full, despite the tough times.

Yes, the tough times I can deal with. The tough times are inevitable. The tough times flow into our lives like waves upon the shore, and just as predictably flow away again.

Looking out to sea wearing a mustard boating jacket and thinking about dealing with toxic people | Self development in mature years | The Barefaced Chic over 50 lifestyle blog

What has floored me is the toxicity in my life at the moment.

Now I’m not going to go into detail, suffice it to say that there has been quite a bit of toxicity in my life lately. All of it undeserved and rather nasty.

I believe myself to be a decent person, and I am finding it incredibly difficult understanding and dealing with the rubbish that has been thrown at both Andrew and myself.

The only thing that we can do to relieve the pressure is to remove the person in question from both our lives. It’s going to be complicated and, no doubt, messy. But we are left with absolutely no choice.

It’s such a shame that we are left wondering how to move forward simply due to the bad behaviour of one person.

But there you go, that’s life, and we are determined to live ours to the full – despite the seemingly equal determination emanating towards us with equal force that we should not.

Shop Similar Styles

Looking out to sea wearing a mustard boating jacket and thinking about dealing with toxic people | Self development in mature years | The Barefaced Chic over 50 lifestyle blog

So my days and nights have been filled with, “What nows?” How do we move forward from the blows?

It’s a tough one. We’ll get there but, at least for the time being, we have our hands both literally and metaphorically full. So if I seem to have lost my sparkle, do bear with me. I absolutely WILL be back on form soon. There is no way I am going to let toxicity interrupt my life for very long.


Jacket c/o M&S | Jumper (out of stock) | Trousers | Super Sparkly Bracelet

Close up of the detail on a mustard boating jacket and thinking about dealing with toxic people | Self development in mature years | The Barefaced Chic over 50 lifestyle blog

 
 

Smiling whilst wearing a mustard boating jacket and thinking about dealing with toxic people | Self development in mature years | The Barefaced Chic over 50 lifestyle blog

Yes, normal (slightly demented) service will be resumed shortly!!

Please don’t think I’ve written this post to elicit sympathy. When I started this blog and launched my vlog I wanted to share both the good and the bad times in my life. I simply felt that your genuine concern needed addressing and there was no way of doing that without letting you know the bones of what is going on.

If you are having issues dealing with toxicity, are struggling with ill-health or simply want to vent. Do leave a comment below and we’ll throw a bit of support at each other.

Cheerio.

19 Comments

  1. February 13, 2017 / 4:32 pm

    What a terrible time you’ve been having. Hope the health problems resolve soon! The outfit is lovely – nautical and spring-like.
    Gail
    http://www.isthsmutton.com

    • February 24, 2017 / 11:49 am

      I have worn that jacket to death Gail, it’s so comfy. It’s been particularly useful during all the horrendous weather we’ve had lately :(
      xxx

  2. February 13, 2017 / 4:37 pm

    Oh I am so sorry to hear this! To me you seem like such a warm loving carring woman, and that someone is doing you harm feels awfull. I hope you can let it all behind you and move on and feel better!

    • February 24, 2017 / 11:50 am

      Thank you so much Nancy, things seem to be settling down now – thank goodness!
      xx

  3. Elisa
    February 13, 2017 / 5:08 pm

    Thank you for sharing something so personal with us. Will pray that your health issues will be resolved, and that, at least, you will get diagnoses (stomach problems at times can be caused by stress, and you have had plenty!). It is very difficult to understand what causes behavior such as the one you describe–lack of self esteem? Envy? Inability to forgive oneself and others? Portraying on you self behavior she/he dislikes? Remember Michelle Obama’s words–when someone goes Low, you go High! It looks as if you’re doing that. And kindness and a smile can help turn things around. Always love your posts.

    • February 24, 2017 / 11:53 am

      The bad behaviour certainly took my breath away and knocked the stuffing out of me for a while. Things do now seem to be settling down. I’m still no further forward with the health issues, but at least my life seems to be a bit calmer. Thank you so much for commenting and for your good wishes Elisa.
      Michelle xx

  4. February 19, 2017 / 12:16 pm

    Having recently discovered your blog (via a recommendation from Not Dressed as Lamb) Iv been binge reading it for the last few nights, and you and it are just fabulous! This post, (along with many) really spoke to me, and Im sorry that you are having a tough time. My husband and I came to the end of an incredibly tough 18 months last year (for many reasons), and at our most vulnerable and devastated time, (and the first time in either of our lives) had to make some incredibly tough choices with regards to friendships and the toxicity of some. Your comment about not understanding and unsure how to deal with it I totally got. This was me. I was blindsided and floored by the situation, and in all truth, it almost broke me. My situation left me with a (temporary) feeling of being unworthy and hard to love, I lost my confidence and was reeling from the blows. One thing I did do though, was hold my silence. It was the hardest thing to do as my instinct was to shout from the rooftops in my defence, but my energies were needed elsewhere. After months of soul searching, regaining my strength and distancing myself from the situation, I began to see it for what it was. Almost always, peoples nastiness is more about them, and what they are feeling, than about us. So I cut them out. I had to for self survival. I am a year on now and it still hurts, but I will not let a toxic person make me feel awful about myself again. At 43, it was a harsh lesson, but one I will not allow to happen again. Sorry for the long comment, I just wanted to respond lol

    • February 24, 2017 / 11:58 am

      Please don’t apologise for the length of your comment, long comments are my favourite :)

      I’m so sorry you and your husband have gone through a tough time Kerry! It never ceases to amaze me how toxic and completely destructive some people can be. As you so rightly say – it’s more about them and their issues than it is about us, and sometimes there is not choice other than to cut all ties.

      I’m so pleased that you are enjoying my scribbling and hope you keep reading.

      All the very best to you and yours.
      Michelle xx

  5. February 19, 2017 / 12:17 pm

    oh sorry, one more thing, how the blooming hell do I follow/subscribe to your blog? Am I being a total numpty?

    • February 24, 2017 / 12:01 pm

      I’ve been messing around with where to put the optin form Keery so I’m not surprised you’re confused ;)
      I’ve now added a slide in box for newsletter signups (it’s not the prettiest but it’s a work in progress). This will also give you notice when a new post goes live.
      You can also follow me on Bloglovin which is a great way of following your favourite blogs all in one place -> https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/barefaced-chic-13243239
      Michelle xx

      • February 25, 2017 / 8:48 am

        Yep, seen it! Great, im in xx

  6. Linda
    February 20, 2017 / 6:13 pm

    Not sure if this helps but a number of years ago I went through the same stomach problems as you seem to have. I was prescribed all sorts of medication. Nothing really helped. My husband, lovely man, paid for me to have stomach scan. I was told the results straight away. Nothing wrong but I may have a ulcer! I saw the consultant who said no ulcer but” Stress”. Just the words made me look at my life.I made some changes and blow me the sicknes etc. stopped.
    I still get the stomach issues when there is stress but I know why and that helps.
    Hope you are better soon.

    • February 24, 2017 / 12:08 pm

      I did used to suffer with IBS which was stress related and I’ve certainly had a lot of stress in my life lately. I’m still waiting for tests and, now that life seems to be settling down a bit, I’m hoping that my tummy will calm down too.
      Paying to have some private help is certainly something hubby and I have talked about, we’ll see how fast the NHS is.
      Thank you so much for your comment.
      Michelle xx

  7. Penny
    March 6, 2017 / 7:41 pm

    Really feel for you; when a whole lot of crap to deal with keeps piling up. You have a great attitude ( or appear to!)but try and simplify life as much as you can and just put one foot in front of the other. It will pass….honest.

    • March 14, 2017 / 9:34 am

      The storm is, indeed, passing and life is getting back to ‘normal’. Thanks you Penny :)

  8. Sally
    March 23, 2017 / 8:16 pm

    I’m sure all kinds of thoughts are running around about your stomach. I’ll throw this out there because we’ve lived with it for 12 years – Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome? Our youngest son has been diagnosed with it and basically it’s a “migraine” in the stomach and causes bouts of vomiting as often as every 10 minutes and for as long as 8 to 24 hours (in his case). He’s had it since he was a baby. We are hopeful he’s outgrown it, but he’d get an *episode* about 5-7 times a year at it’s peak.

    I hope you can find a diagnosis and the appropriate remedy soon!

    • March 24, 2017 / 5:55 pm

      Funnily enough, someone else suggest stomach migraine! The problem is, my doctor simply isn’t taking it seriously and keeps dishing out antacids, etc. I’m going to try and see a different doctor next week, so keep your fingers crossed for me.
      Thanks for the suggestion and I do hope your son does outgrow it, poor kid :(
      Michelle xx

      • Sally
        April 3, 2017 / 10:44 pm

        There’s a group out of Australia who has some great literature on CVS. I read it after my son was diagnosed with it and it was right on for him, and I felt better that it wasn’t just something we were making up/stressed about or needed antacids. I’m sorry your doctor isn’t taking it seriously. We knew with our son that stress (good or bad) could trigger one or simply not getting enough sleep. We also, due to our older son, had removed all artificial colored foods from our house and I believe that’s why our younger son didn’t get worse or more often vomiting episodes. I think CVS is a neurological condition, sort of like being car sick – it happens in your head, but manifests itself in the stomach. He got dizzy right before throwing up. NOTHING worked to stop it, sadly. But it’s been about 2 years now (he’s 15) since he’s had one.

        I will definitely keep my fingers crossed for you! Have you had the appointment yet?

        • April 6, 2017 / 9:56 am

          Hi Sally
          Thanks for all this information, it’s something I mentioned to my doctor but she (not unsurprisingly) had no clue about it. I have now seen a different doctor, pushed for more test and for referral to a gastroenntrdmologist. I’m hoping we get an answer soon.
          Very interesting about food colouring. It’s something I used to ban from the house when my children were small. I think I’ll be more diligent about consuming it myself now.
          Say hi to your son from me, and tell him I hope his run of good health continues.
          Many thanks
          Michelle xx

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